


Fundamentals of Stimming

by onemechanicalalligator



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: 5+1, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Canon Autistic Character, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Stimming, Troy has ADHD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26307631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onemechanicalalligator/pseuds/onemechanicalalligator
Summary: Five times Abed helped Troy, and one time Troy helped Abed.
Relationships: Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 43
Kudos: 317





	Fundamentals of Stimming

**minus one**

Abed has vivid memories of going to various specialists when he was a child, and the way they tried to figure out what was wrong with him without ever actually asking _him_ a single thing. For that reason, when he decides to try again, he waits until he’s eighteen and can do it on his own. 

He finds a specialist and sets up an appointment and it’s terrifying, because he hates doctors, but he’s willing to try for the sake of a formal diagnosis. He ends up with that and more, including but not limited to a label  _ (autism), _ a new vocabulary  _ (stimming, meltdown, special interest), _ and a referral  _ (occupational therapy). _

Occupational therapy teaches him that there are names for the things he does, and reasons why he does them, and gives him some pretty good replacements for the more destructive ones. 

He learns that a lot of his problems are sensory in nature, and that his sensory _seeking_ behaviors include things like pinching or hitting or chewing on things, or listening to loud music, and the times when he's sensory _avoiding_ include those times when he doesn’t want to be touched, and his clothes feel scratchy, and he hears quiet things that other people can’t hear, and things are bright in a way other people don’t see.

He’s already learned pretty well how to deal with the sensory avoiding behaviors. He lets people know when he doesn’t want them to touch him. He cuts the tags out of all of his clothes and only wears certain fabrics. He uses earplugs and eye masks when he gets overwhelmed.

Sensory seeking, though, is where occupational therapy really comes in handy. They help him get a weighted blanket, which provides pressure and helps when he feels like he’s floating away or jumping out of his skin. They teach him about heavy work, things like running and yoga that help him feel centered and aware of his body and where it is. 

They explain that his repetitive habits of pinching and hitting and chewing things are all forms of self-stimulating behavior, or stimming -- ways to give himself sensory input. They show him healthy forms of stimming -- different tools and toys he can use to replace the harmful behaviors, things like therapy putty and fidget toys and chewable necklaces, and encourage things he already does, like clicking pencils and playing with strings and tapping. 

He files all of this information in his brain, and appreciates how much easier it is to research things on his own now that he has the right words for them. He appreciates knowing he’s not alone with the things he needs and the reasons he needs them. He appreciates being able to fit one more piece into the puzzle of Who Abed Is, to get that much closer to understanding himself.

Knowing these things that he didn’t know for so long makes him hyperaware of them in daily life, particularly at school and even more particularly in study group. He takes a large ziploc bag and writes “ABED” on it, and he fills it full of stim toys, and he keeps it in his messenger bag at all times.

**one**

One afternoon Abed notices Troy picking at his fingernails, methodically messing with the same spot over and over and over. He’s not looking as he does it, and Abed wonders if he’s even aware he’s doing it at all. He starts to worry that Troy is going to make himself bleed, and Abed doesn’t have any antiseptic or band-aids or anything.

He pulls a plastic tangle toy out of his bag and slides it across to Troy, brushing it against his hand until he has no choice but to take it. Abed doesn’t say a word, just smiles at him, and Troy eventually smiles back. He begins to play with it, twisting and pulling, fingernails forgotten. 

At the end of the day, he slides it back to Abed without a word. His fingernails are more or less intact. Abed considers it a success.

**two**

Troy and Abed are on the couch in the study room trying to see who can name more Batman villains in a short period of time, and Abed pulls out a fidget cube and starts clicking and twisting as he speaks. He’s looking straight ahead, but when he’s done talking Troy doesn’t say anything right away, and Abed glances over. Troy is watching him fidget with rapt attention. 

“Do you want to try?” he asks, and holds it out to Troy. 

“Sure,” Troy says, and takes it in his hand. He looks at each side, clicking the clicky parts, twisting the twisty parts, rubbing the textured parts. 

Abed watches his face, the way it changes with each new bit of sensory feedback, how his eyes grow wider and his face lights up in a grin. Troy is always beautiful, but the look of delight on his face suits him. 

That’s the moment Abed falls in love with Troy.

**three**

Troy understands Abed better than pretty much anyone else on the planet. The study group sees it as some kind of superpower, and Abed sees it as a miracle of sorts, but Troy knows the truth: he and Abed are just  _ meant  _ for each other, and Abed understands Troy better than pretty much anyone else, too. 

In the safety of the blanket fort, late at night when they can’t sleep, Troy and Abed offer up pieces of themselves, the things that are hidden in plain sight, that inform their entire experiences but are never explicitly named or discussed, at least not Out There, and definitely not with Anyone Else. Snuggled up together in the bottom bunk, Troy explains ADHD to Abed, and Abed describes autism in return, and it’s a private conversation, a mutual understanding that  _ this part of me is just for you. _

It makes it easy, then, when they finally begin a romantic relationship together, and there’s no need for disclaimers or explanations, because they already  _ know,  _ it’s already all out there on the table. It’s a normally huge source of anxiety that’s just absent, that’s already been dealt with, and it feels  _ fantastic.  _ Their origin story as a couple is simple and unconventional and perfect. 

For their one-week anniversary, Abed tells Troy he did some research and learned about how stimming is a common coping mechanism for people with ADHD, too. He takes a sharpie and adds “TROY &” above “ABED” on the ziploc bag of stim toys.

**four**

When their disagreement breaks out, Abed holds up one hand to pause Troy speaking and then digs in his bag and pulls out two canisters. He hands one to Troy and keeps one for himself. He knows they’re going to need them.

The group comes in to find Troy and Abed on the couch, each holding a ball of brightly colored putty, squishing and pulling as they argue. Their hands get more and more frantic as they get more and more heated, and they’re talking so fast no one can understand a word they’re saying. Troy is shredding his putty into little pieces and Abed is squeezing his so hard it seeps out between his fingers.

Finally, they reach a point where they’re almost shouting, and then they suddenly stop. They each put their ball of putty away in its canister and Abed tosses them both in his bag. Then they lean over and start making out.

“What the hell?” says Jeff, speaking for the group. “What were you even fighting about?”

Abed pulls away from Troy to look at him.

“Who’s a better kisser,” he says nonchalantly. “Now, if you could just give us a minute, we’re working on determining who won the argument.”

**five**

Annie comes home to find the couch moved to the middle of the room and Troy and Abed sitting with their backs on the ground and feet up against the wall. 

“Hey guys,” she says. “What’s going on?”

“Abed’s teaching me yoga,” Troy explains. “We’re pretty much done. But this pose feels really good, so we decided to just hang out like this for awhile.”

“Oh!” she says. “That’s really great, you guys. I’m glad you’re trying to get healthy.”

Abed blinks at her.

“I do yoga every night in the blanket fort before bed, you know,” he says. “And other times, too. I’m very healthy.”

“I had no idea,” Annie admits. “I guess I try to ignore what goes on in the blanket fort for the most part, since you guys… You know...” She raises an eyebrow. “Also, you’re not healthy, Abed. You eat almost exclusively noodles and sugar cereal.”

“Okay, okay,” Troy says. “That’s enough of that. Do you want to join us, or what?”

“Sure!” she exclaims, and slips off her shoes, then sits on the floor and wriggles so she’s next to Abed, tossing her feet up against the wall. “Oh, wow,” she says. “This does feel really good.”

“It’s important to make time to feel good,” Abed says sagely.

**plus one**

When class gets out, Troy heads to the study room, and Abed is the only one there. He has his earbuds in and he’s watching something on his laptop -- or at least he’s facing the screen -- but he looks agitated. He’s frantically scratching his arms underneath his hoodie, and every so often he reaches up and yanks on a lock of his hair. He pulls hard, like he’s trying to hurt himself. 

Troy sits down next to Abed, close but not touching, and reaches for his hand. Abed startles, but he doesn’t pull away. Troy laces their fingers together and then squeezes Abed’s hand tightly, hoping to ground him a little bit.

He lets go of Abed’s hand and stands up, moving so that he’s behind Abed. He puts his hands on Abed’s arms and runs them up and down a few times, providing some pressure. Abed’s shoulders start to relax a little bit.

Troy reaches into Abed’s bag for the “TROY & ABED” ziploc and pulls out a Rubik’s cube. He sets it gently in Abed’s hand, watching to make sure he grabs hold of it before Troy takes his hand away. He sees Abed’s fingers immediately spring to life as he starts to twist it around, and Troy gets distracted for a minute watching Abed’s beautiful hands, his long, graceful fingers…

Troy tears his eyes away and glances at Abed’s face. He notices him chewing on his lip, so he reaches into a smaller ziploc bag and pulls out a necklace, which he drapes around Abed’s neck. Abed briefly stops playing with the Rubik’s cube to take the grey silicone alien pendant on the necklace and stick it into his mouth, and he starts chewing on it.

Satisfied, Troy sits back down in the chair next to Abed. He grabs his phone, then scoots closer to Abed and rests his head on his shoulder. He pulls up a game on his phone and plays as he waits for Abed to feel ready to rejoin the world.

When he finally is ready, Abed takes out the earbuds and tucks them into his bag. He stops chewing the alien and puts that away, too, and finally the Rubik’s cube.

“Thanks,” he says quietly to Troy.

“Anytime,” Troy says. “Usually you’re the one who has to help _me_.”

“We help each other,” Abed replies. “That’s why we work so well as a couple. We complement each other.”

Troy gives him a funny look.

“Complement with an  _ e,” _ Abed clarifies. “We suit each other. Complete each other.”

“Oh,” says Troy. “Yeah, we do, don’t we?”

“We can compliment each other, too,” Abed says. “You picked the perfect stims for me just now.”

“Really?” Troy says, grinning. “Awesome.”

“You know me,” Abed says fondly, standing and packing his stuff back up.

“You knew  _ me  _ before I knew myself,” Troy counters, standing and grabbing his bag.

“We both know each other,” Abed says, and shrugs. 

“Yeah, and we’re  _ awesome,” _ Troy adds. They walk out the door and head to the car.

“Neurodivergent power couple,” Abed declares.

“Huh?” Troy turns to look at Abed.

“I’ll explain on the way home,” Abed assures him.

“I know,” Troy says happily. “You always do.”


End file.
